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Love is the collateral of a life lived fully.
10 years ago, when my 17 year relationship and marriage ended...it felt like I had lost a limb. Along my journey to heal and somehow return to wholeness from what felt broken and shattered inside of me, I made a commitment to love harder than any other emotion.
10 years ago, when my 17 year relationship and marriage ended...it felt like I had lost a limb.
Along my journey to heal and somehow return to wholeness from what felt broken and shattered inside of me, I made a commitment to love harder than any other emotion.
What I didn’t truly understand was what that meant... walking into, acknowledging, owning the anger, rage, resentment, blame, shame, fear, guilt and grief that was surfacing within me.
Surrendering into the deep discomfort within.
Learning how to tolerate the intolerable.
Falling to my knees in hopelessness…having ‘tried’ so many different strategies...
And ultimately surrendering to the most high, to the Divine Source, Allah, God.
Surrendering into not knowing, total uncertainty, powerlessness, letting go of control…praying for help and guidance and protection and…LOVE.
So…I sit here now 10 years on, having walked through all those emotions and stories…that led me every time…to love.
Love is the current that flows through the centre of everything and everyone.
It is there in the pain of rejection and it is there once that pain dissolves.
As our veils lift and we begin to see more clearly…we begin to notice love in everything…in what we label as ‘good’ and in what we label as ‘bad’.
It is ALWAYS there.
What transforms is our ability to perceive it, feel it, radiate from it within our bodies, hearts and souls.
In this moment, as I write this, I see it.
I feel it.
I experience it.
I witness it.
I radiate from it and it illuminates me.
I feel it in the contraction in my right back rib.
I experience it in the deep well in my heart centre.
I witness it in my left bum cheek.
It radiates from the trees around me.
It illuminates from the fluttering of the tulip tree leaves in the breeze.
Love is everywhere.
I remember the lines from the film 'Collateral Beauty' with Will Smith...an amazing deeply moving film...
When love is speaking to him, she says...“We don't get to choose who we love or who loves us back... I am the fabric of life. I am within you. I am within everything."
And
“Just be sure to notice the collateral beauty. It's a profound connection to everything."
After watching that film, the realisation came to me all those years ago that love is the collateral beauty of everything.
Love is the collateral beauty of life itself.
And now sitting here…I realise even further that…
There is the collateral damage...
And
There is the collateral beauty...
At the same time...
In everything...
For love is not only found in the collateral beauty.
Love is also present within the collateral damage.
It is the thread running through it all.
Love is not the reward for a life without pain.
Love is not found only in the beautiful moments.
Love is woven through the whole thing.
The heartbreak.
The healing.
The grief.
The gratitude.
The loss.
The return.
Love is the collateral of a life lived fully.
Hawa is a Sufi healing practitioner, spiritual guide and mother whose work is rooted in lived experience, devotion and deep personal transformation. Drawing from Sufi Spiritual Healing, breath and bodywork, sacred sound and Holy Hijama Therapy, she offers compassionate spaces for healing, remembrance and reconnection to the Divine. Based at Home House Homestead in the Norfolk countryside, her path is one of surrender, simplicity and the unfolding journey of the heart.
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Hawa’s path has been one of deep longing — a search for love, truth and a more meaningful connection to life.
Originally studying music at the University of East Anglia, she was first introduced to yoga in her early twenties, where she discovered a quieter and more connected way of being through breath, movement and inner awareness.
Motherhood became one of the greatest loves of her life. Becoming a mother at 23, and later raising twin boys, her early adult years were devoted to family life. Yet beneath the surface remained an unshakable longing for something deeper.
Her journey led through periods of grief, addiction, disconnection and profound inner searching, whilst yoga remained a constant thread throughout her life. Following the death of her stepfather, unresolved pain and deeper questions began to surface, marking the beginning of a sincere healing journey.
Over the years, she immersed herself in many healing modalities including yoga, meditation, bodywork, ceremony, sacred sound and transformational practices — not initially as a profession, but as a path towards healing her own heart and life.
A major turning point came after the breakdown of her 17-year marriage. During this period of surrender and personal transformation, she was guided back to her voice, to song, and to a deeper relationship with herself and the Divine. It was also during this time that the spirit of the Hummingbird came to her as a symbol of unconditional love, resilience and the ability to find sweetness amidst suffering.
In 2020, she stepped away from her growing healing and coaching business, left city life behind and moved to Home House in the remote Norfolk countryside. There, immersed in simplicity, nature and spiritual devotion, a new way of living began to unfold.
Her path eventually led her to Islam and the mystical tradition of Sufism — the path of the heart — where her lifelong longing found a home. She was given the name Hawa, meaning Eve, the first woman and mother of humanity.
Today, Hawa walks the Sufi path devotedly whilst studying Sufi Spiritual Healing through the Sufi University, continuing her training towards a Master of Divinity. Her work is grounded not only in study, but in lived experience, surrender and ongoing spiritual practice.
Through Sufi healing, breath and bodywork, sacred sound, Holy Hijama Therapy and the spaces she holds at Home House Homestead, she offers others a compassionate space to heal, soften, reconnect and return to themselves and to the Divine.
Her work is rooted in the belief that when we empty ourselves of what no longer serves, Divine Radiance can begin to shine through.