Back in 1992, whilst at the University of East Anglia studying a music degree, I went to my first yoga class and there began a love and a life long spiritual practise. I can now reflect back and recognise the deep yearning in my heart for love, a yearning that has always been there which breathing and moving my body in union began to caress the tender muscle and draw me inward to the music within.

I became a mother at 23 to my daughter and went on to have twin boys 6 years later…I LOVE being a mother and dedicated my life to my family. I never had a desire for a career, all I ever wanted from a little girl was a family, to find someone to love and be loved and be a mother. My children are young adults now and I am moving into the next phase of my life.

Along the way, in search of filling the deep yearning within my heart and often insatiable desires, I picked up many addictions, seeking love and connection wherever I thought I could find it, often in very hedonistic ways. Around 2011, after my step father died, something opened inside of me from the grief, as is often the case, and all the trauma and painful emotions I had been able to hide and control relatively well until then began to surface and my strategies began to deteriorate over the next few years. One afternoon after an explosive moment of anger triggered and projected at my mother, I realised I needed help and turning painfully to my younger sister for guidance, she directed me to a weekend course called “ievolve” in London’s Concorde Institute. “ievolve” helped to gently open my awareness and consciousness, to begin to see the truth of how I was living and being and so began a journey of inner transformation. I continued onto the foundation course which is a whole other story in itself…it was on this course that I woke up to my addiction to numbing out on cocaine and alcohol infused partying which I was not admitting to myself. I wasn’t allowed to finish the course and that was heart shattering. The shame that surfaced felt too much to bear but it had to be that way in order for me to acknowledge the truth of my situation and life.

My addictions made it very difficult for me to be consistent with my spiritual practices but my yoga practice kept calling me back throughout it all. I was in a constant swing between partying and spirituality. I felt stuck between 2 worlds.

In 2014 I was guided to complete a yoga teacher training with Cam Yoga which was terrifying for me at the time for so many reasons but I completed it and it began to open up a possibility of a different kind of being. I began teaching in Norwich and was co owner of Happy Om Studio for a while. That studio time holds another crazy story of receiving anonymous letters and a lot of fear which led me to letting the studio go. But during that time at Happy Om, I invited Jambo Dragon, a Forrest Yoga guardian, to come teach a workshop and that was my first taste of Forrest Yoga. Forrest Yoga weaves a modernised adaptation of yoga with Native American ceremony which sparked up a light inside of my heart and soul. It felt like I had found a practice which helped me to learn how to be present in my body, and nourish my soul with ceremony, drumming and song. At the end of 2016, when my 17 year relationship and marriage broke down and ended, I went and completed a month long residential teacher training with Forrest Yoga which helped enormously to support me and my heart as it shattered. My whole world as I knew it fell apart but I was supported by my yoga and ceremony practice and guided to rediscover my singing voice, healing my heart with song as I began writing medicine songs as part of my healing journey.

2017 was a really difficult year as my whole life as I knew it for 17 years, fell apart. It felt like I had lost a limb. I knew I had to heal and learn how to function in a different way again but there were times of despair and hopelessness. In a totally broken moment in 2017, my beautiful daughter made me get up out of bed and go out to see a friend (I hadn’t been out for a while, of bed and of the house). When I got home, her brothers were in bed, the house had been cleaned and I had clean sheets on my bed. On the bed was a note which read “Tomorrow is a new day. I love you.” With a softened and melted heart and tears streaming down my face,, in that moment, I set the intention to commit to get up and face life and began a deep heart focussed healing journey for my children. It was easier to commit to it for them than myself.

Between 2017 and 2020, I was moved to complete trainings in Yoga Bodywork with Jambo Dragon and Brian Campbell, Transformational coaching with The Little Volcanos, attended Dr Joe Dispenza'a Advanced Retreat where I had a life changing mystical experience and attended various shamanic medicine ceremonies over the years. I worked consistently with several different transformational coaches and also completed a year long Shamanic apprenticeship with Sarah Negus, The Modern Day Shaman. All of these trainings were guided from, with and for my own healing and the desire to become free of the deep pain within my heart and the addictions which were effecting my mind, body and spiritual health and that of my children. 

In 2020, I began to turn back to God in a way that I could never have imagined. I realised my resistance to even calling God, God, and talking about God as the universe, source, the divine. Anything but God. So began a deep exploration of why that was and guiding me back to prayer and more surrender. That deep yearning for love finally led me inwards to an opening in my heart and a deep desire to want to know God, to truly know Divine Love. I realised I had spent most of my life chasing love outwardly unsuccessfully. I turned away from God when I left school at 18, a catholic convent boarding school for girls, maybe even before and turning back through my heart felt like I was coming home to Truth.

That year when the pandemic hit the world, I felt a deep calling within to let everything that I knew and everything that I was doing go. It made no financial sense but it was a call that wouldn’t go away. In 2018, previously I had set an intention to begin my own surrender experiment after reading “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael Singer whilst in Bali assisting on a Forrest Yoga Teacher training. This calling 2 years later felt like a deepening into fully surrendering to the unknown and all that I thought I knew, my way of living and being in the world.

Falling into total trust of God’s plan and letting go of my own.

So, I left the city, social media, my growing online business, to retreat away from the world at Home House in rural Norfolk in search of a new way of being and living. I knew as soon as I saw this house that this was the place I was to be for as long as I was guided.

I was blessed for the next 3 years, with time and space to heal and integrate fully all the healing practices that I had learnt over the years, learn how to live with and off the land, emptying my “self”, insatiable desires and addictions into God and the beauty and magnificence of the natural world around me.

In August 2022, I was guided to Islam realising that I was already living as a muslim and something in my heart again called me to surrender more. Surrender to God which led me quickly to Sufism a few months later, the religion of Love and mystical Islam where my heart was so deeply moved, I took a promise to Allah, to God and to the Shadhuliyya Sufi Tariqa to empty myself into Allah, the Divine Love that is the essence of everything and hand myself over to Allah to make what He wants of me. I was given the Sufi name Hawa, Eve, the first woman, mother of humanity. It humbles me deeply to walk through life graced with this name.

Since 2020, I have been deepening my relationship with nature, my body, my breath, my heart and ultimately Allah. My heart has been opened to an ever deepening  awareness of Divine presence within and to the sacredness of life, love and being. A knowing and trust that ultimately, more and more, I know nothing, and what I do know is in my heart and given on a need to know basis with God. Nothing is in my control and Allah’s plan is way better than my own and divine timing has nothing to do with my timing of when and what I want.

In 2023, I began learning, training, receiving, giving and practicing Sufi Spiritual Healing, deep Sufi teachings and have been guided to slowly emerge back into the world and open up the beautiful space and land, Home House Homestead. Moving towards bringing together a community supporting building a working homestead and healing and spiritual retreat Sanctuary.

The intentions that I hold in my heart for Home House Homestead are:

To provide a space and sanctuary for healing and a deepening of relationship with God, the Divine, our hearts, and the essence of Peace, Love, Mercy and Unity.

To provide experiential and viseral education for children and young adults to reconnect with natural ways of living guided by the teachings of the Quran and the Prophets, peace and blessings be upon Them.

To provide a space for healing workshops, trainings, Sufi gatherings and Spiritual teachings.

To provide financial assistance for education, those in need of healing and support.

To provide a space for local community heart led events and retreats.

I am currently tending to the land, animals and growing organic vegetables and beginning to share this experience and knowledge with young adults. I am open to working with anyone that is guided to me seeking support and guidance in the healing of their physical and spiritual body. I have began to reconnect with the piano and a few other instruments as well as singing and creating devotional music. My heart yearns to bring devotional and healing music to the hearts of those who come my way.

I pray to share the beauty and light that has graced my humbled heart and allowed me to experience the layer by layer, veil by veil emptying of my “self” and a deepening into my relationship with God, Allah and reverence for the fullness and wholeness of life and its polarities. Anchored by my love and devotion to the One Love, the Oneness, the Divine, Allah and my service to Him.

May you all be blessed abundantly with the Light and Love of the Divine.