The Weekend That Planted a Seed in My Heart

As I begin to launch these new “Just Be” retreats for women who are exhausted from the busyness of life, from constant caring for and looking after others, doing over being, action over stillness, or feeling lonely and alone but all longing to be held and looked after themselves…I find myself reflecting on my own journey.

There was a time when this was me.

Around 2014/2015, I was at the beginning of my healing journey, stuck in cycles of self-abandonment, addictive patterns, consumerism and desperately trying to be a good mother and wife whilst navigating trauma that had begun to surface within me.

I longed for change deeply, but I didn’t know what that change looked like, how to get there, or even if it was truly possible for me.

I had done my first yoga teacher training and had begun making small changes in my life, but they were inconsistent because the life I was living was still not supporting the life my soul was longing for.

And then one day, I came across a retreat on Facebook at a place in Norfolk I had never heard of, with people I didn’t know.

I can’t even remember the name of the retreat now, but I remember a feeling inside me that simply said:
“Go.”

It was held at a place called Walnut Farm — a permaculture space with yoga, outdoor cooking and simple living surrounded by nature.

I signed up just days before it began and went along alone.

Looking back now, I realise that place planted a seed for the life I am living today.

I remember driving in and seeing a pond to my right, barns to my left and a tiny cottage beside the water. There was a vegetable garden, an outdoor kitchen and a trampoline in a field of long grass.

I remember cooking outside with freshly picked vegetables from the garden and eating together simply in nature.

I remember jumping on the trampoline at sunset with another woman much younger than me and feeling so unbelievably free.

I remember sitting in the living room in the evening doing playful connection activities I had never experienced before.

But more than anything, I remember how I felt.

My heart felt open.

The simplicity, beauty and slowness of that environment allowed me to hear something within myself more clearly than I had in years.

It was as though my soul was whispering:
“This is the way.”

Out of the noise and busyness of my normal life, I could suddenly hear the deeper wisdom within me calling me toward another way of living and being.

Fast forward to now, and here I am living the very life that once felt impossible.

It hasn’t been easy.

There were years where I walked through some of the darkest moments of my life. Moments where I thought I would never see light again.

But I now understand that to truly experience the light, we often have to walk through the darkness.

Not around it.
Not over it.
Not under it.

But right through it.

And it is often through that darkness that we crack open enough for the light to enter…illuminating both the path ahead and the truth within ourselves.

So for any woman reading this who is longing for change…
Longing for a life that feels slower, softer, more meaningful and nourishing to the soul…

Just know that what feels impossible can become possible.

But often it requires the courage to let go of what is no longer aligned and to walk into the unknown.

This is part of the journey home to ourselves.

And perhaps sometimes, all it begins with…is giving ourselves permission to simply “Just Be.”

To find out more about a ‘Just Be’ retreat, feel free to get in touch for details or go check out the retreats page.